❥ beauty jane...

* love, shove.

engaged — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 13:32:58 -0800

I probably have no reason to feel this way, seeing as how I am very in love with my fiance but, I hate when people are lovey dovey & mushy. I honestly can't fucking stand it in the least bit. I hate when people get hype over their one month anniversary and then celebrate every month - if isn't a YEAR, it doesn't count, you plum. Or do this shit - 'so in love, 010309' - it's been days ! Or the girls that fall apart as soon as their man leaves, like actually crying or being depressed. codependency is disgusting & isn't true love if you ask me. I hate chicks that introduce themselves as 'so & so's girlfriend/wife'. That's not your name asshole, you were a whole person before you got a man, try to remember that. OR the ones that cut people off & lose themselves just because they are in a relationship (finally!!). I think a good mate encourages you to be yourself & grow... not mold you into what they want you to be. And they certainly don't alienate you from your friends/family. But maybe I'm nuts. dunno. I'm old fashion in some ways, for example, I think the MAN should bring up marriage, not the woman nagging him into buying a ring. I also disagree with approaching dudes but that's a-whole-nother subject all together.

I think if you can't stand to be alone you have no business being in a relationship. I also don't believe that 'love' is a crippling emotion. I think it's suppose to empower you, not tie you down & make you feel helpless. '<I>I can't help it, I love him/her/them</i>'.. no you're just choosing to be weak as shit. Everything you do is your choice, with in your control & really is your right. Not only is being helpless (in some cases, not all) a choice to be weak, it's also the act of deciding that someone else comes before you... I think the only people who should come before you or those who put you before themselves. & that not every boyfriend/lover deserves that treatment. I've noticed that my girlfriends that constantly give their all are the main ones getting fucked over... I sense a pattern here - don't you? people(some girls) seem to think the more you give the more you'll get, hopefully, as a award for hard work? i don't know. but I know I don't want people to like me for the same reasons they would like a pet. I want them to like me for the things that make me, me. that includes flaws. this is becoming a rant but it was on my mind & so it's here.

* I want to see you...

engaged — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:57:21 -0800

Dunno what she's saying but *dances*

* RIP, roracentric.com

engaged — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 04:11:35 -0800

like two months ago I said I was closing my site ( I really have a bad concept of time so I'm guessing it was two months, might have been two damn weeks ) but now the hosting sign is actually up so people are like, omg I thought you'd bring it back. I really don't know. I already have my themes saved of course because I had to UPload them in the first place. I'm wondering if I want my entries or if I'll just let them go as well.. I really just don't know. In total I have 5 names, I'm waiting to see which lame sally/jane 'hater' with a sick jane addiction buys them but I'm not willing to fight over them. let's face it - I've been over the 'designing' thing. there's too much stealing, not enough originality & of course the blogging cliques, the demand for censorship.. this past year I've been recycling my own shit. if that's not a sign it's a wrap, what is. It's a little sad because I think I've had this site 3-4 yrs now??? I don't know. I kinda like having this, so much less of a hassle. a site is suppose to be a hobby, not a hassle....

bye roracentric ❤

* it's 6 yrs, of never being different..

engaged — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:34:48 -0800

a billion years could pass, this part would still get to me.

* I am a bitch.

engaged — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:09:39 -0800

I am a bitch, but - if needed, I will be there.

I am a bitch, but - my friends never need to do more then ask & they've got it - the first time.

I am a bitch, but - everyone tells me all of their business... because I'm trustworthy.

I am a bitch, but - I tell everyone my business, because I'm trusting.

I am a bitch, but - I'll do my best to never lie to you.

I am a bitch, but - it kills me to let someone down.. or not be able to fix them.

I am a bitch, but - I'm easily guilted into taking care of other people.

I am a bitch, but - I've been a proven sucker, many many many times.

I am a bitch, but - every time I've tried to avoid the 'bitchiness', I've had the situation blow up in my face.

I am a bitch, but - I'm just saying what everyone else was saying behind your back, to your face.

I am a bitch, but - I want the long-term win, not the short-term goal.

I am a bitch, but - if you contacted me right now, I'd help you if I could.

I am a bitch, but - if I have a piece of advice to give, it's yours - even if you never had a bit of it to give me.

I am a bitch, but - I accept you for who you are, as long as you accept me for the same thing, despite our differences.

I am a bitch, but - you're drawn to me anyway, & would be closer if I invited you to be.

I am a bitch, but - you wish you were me.

I am a bitch, but - isn't that why you said you loved me?

I am a bitch, but - is that all I am?

I'm unsure about this 'bitch' thing. In some ways, I wear it proudly. In others, it takes away from the rest of me. In the end though, you see what you want to see... Whether that's ME or not, is up to you.